Drowning in “To Do’s”?

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed or on the edge of being so by all of the demands of your life – personal, professional, or most often, a combination of both?  Does your life sometimes feel like an endless “to do list” that nags at you and keeps you from working with intention and attention, or keeps you from just take a deep breath and enjoying your life?  I think all of us experience this feeling from time to time and, for some, it is such a chronic state it has become their “normal” default. 

Throughout my life as I’ve juggled multiple roles and responsibilities and have come face-to-face with the unpleasant and dysfunctional “edge of overwhelm” many times.  However, I have also discovered two tools that have helped me take a deep breath, identify and prioritize what needs to be done, and perhaps most importantly, regain a sense of self-efficacy and clarity.  I have used these tools repeatedly with good results and would like to share them with you. 

I learned of these two tools many years ago in the work of Stephen Covey.  I was a civilian organizational psychologist working for the Air Force and we integrated them widely into our management training programs.  Over the years, I have adapted them to the context and audience.  The beauty is they are just as effective when applied in a quiet time of personal reflection or in the case of the “Four Quadrant Time Management” tool in a group working session. 

Caution!  Don’t let the simplicity of the underlying logic mask the power of these tools to help us identify what is legitimately “ours to do” and in what order.   Let’s begin…

The Circles of Life

In my words, Covey observed that our lives were divided into three circles or spheres…

The inner most circle is the “Circle of Control” and contains those aspects of our life over which we have control.  My experience is that the only thing we have any real control over is ourselves – and then only a part of the time!  Parents and those in committed relationships know from experience that we cannot control our kids or significant others!

The middle-circle is the “Circle of Influence” and contains those things that we can have an effect upon.  By working on these tasks we can have an impact, we can make a difference in our lives and work.  We can also get things done! 

Finally, the outer circle is the “Circle of Interest/Concern” and contains those things over which we have no or minimal influence.  It doesn’t mean that we are not interested in them or do not care about them, but the blunt reality is, there is no action we can take that will change the situation.  For me, this is virtually everything I see on the national news and in social media. 

One of Covey’s lesser known observations about this model was that our circles/spheres of control, influence, and interest were not fixed.  Rather, they can be systematically enlarged through a blend of character and competence.  Character without competence or competence without character will not expand our control, influence, or interest.  It takes both!

So how do you move from interesting model to real life?  The first step is that we se set aside some quiet non-interrupted time.  It doesn’t have to be a long period but it does need to be distraction free.  No email.  No phone.  Just ourselves and our thoughts.  Whether you use paper or electrons is a matter of workstyle but sometimes stepping away from the computer makes it easier to “clear our heads."

Ask yourself what is on your mind?  What is on your physical or psychological “to do” list? What is nagging at you?  What are you feeling pressured about?  Just make a list with the big things and the little things.  Write, just write!  Don’t censor, critique, or problem solve.  This is brainstorming and just for yourself.

When you have gotten down all of the things that have been taken mental space, then look at your list.  The first step is to cross out anything that falls into the “Circle of Interest/Concern.”  These are actions and worries that we can take off your “to do list.”  These are not ours to do – at least at this time.

What is left is a list of tasks that vary widely in terms of scope, urgency, and importance.  Some are just quick-turn tasks that with a short spurt of dedicated effort could be accomplished and scratched off the list.  These are often “Circle of Control” tasks and Nike has it right…  “just do it.” 

Some of these “Circle of Control” tasks are more significant and impact our lives at a deeper level.  They may be tasks associated with health, relationships, financial stability, living conditions, career, and other aspects of well-being.  These are the tasks that we can prioritized along with our “Circle of Influence” tasks with the “Four Quadrant Time Management” tool described in the next section. 

A word of caution, when we are confronted with these “Circle of Control” and “Circle of Influence” tasks, it is easy to go down the trail of self-recrimination or critique.  We need to be careful of this inner chatter because it can undermine our efforts and our sense of agency.  We are where we are.  Yes, there may be lessons to learn.  Yes, we may have been here before.  Yes, maybe we ought to know better.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  The key now is to categorize and prioritize the real tasks of life at the moment.

Four Quadrant Time Management

This is  the second  tool adopted from Stephen Covey’s work and I have used it both personally and with diverse leadership/management teams.  The model is a 2x2 matrix with the dimensions of Importance and Urgency.

Quadrant I are those tasks which are “Important and Urgent.” These tasks may have reached the crisis point or are about to.  Getting these done is of the highest priority.

Quadrant II are tasks which are “Important; Not Urgent.”  One of Covey’s key observations is that this “Important; Not Urgent” quadrant is where the best leaders spend their time and focus. 

Quadrant III are those tasks which are “Urgent; Not Important.”   This is the stereotypical life in a bureaucracy.  And finally, Quadrant IV are tasks which are “Not Urgent; Not Important.”  I think most of us know what this looks like!

Now the magic.  Take the remaining “control and influence” tasks from your list and assign them to one of these four quadrants.  I have found it more compelling to create a large matrix on paper and write the tasks in, positioning them in the right quadrant. 

When I do this exercise with leadership teams as a white board exercise, I have them place the tasks within the appropriate quadrant, but also along the importance and urgency continuum.   Typically, most groups have a couple of tasks that they consider “important and urgent” – some of them critically so.  They are the clear priorities.  However, most groups also have a set of tasks that are “Important; Not Urgent,” but are sitting right up against the Quadrant I line.  If time isn’t dedicated to addressing these tasks, they will become Quadrant I crises. 

Leaders and leadership teams who use this tool have a greater sense of what actions are important and urgent  They are more strategic in their work and there is a stronger consensus around priorities.

In Conclusion

These two tools, while conceptually simple, have great potential.  Whether our tasks is to lead an organization or lead ourselves to a life of greater well-being, understanding and prioritizing what it is we are called to do (and what we are not!) is a great starting point.